Naming the Moon

The toddlers both have exactly the same scooters, but somehow one is the favourite.

There comes a stage in almost every toddler's life when the world can be divided into two categories:

Mine.

And...

Also mine.

One afternoon, Lion and Elephant were taking turns riding the little scooter outside. Like many two-year-olds, Lion wasn't entirely convinced that "taking turns" was the greatest invention in human history. She climbed off the scooter for a moment to investigate something far more exciting. Elephant, seeing an empty scooter, happily climbed on.

Instant protest.

"No! Mine!"

I crouched down beside Lion.

" Show me your name."

She looked at me, slightly puzzled.

"Where's your name on the scooter?"

Silence.

"The scooter doesn't have Lion's name on it."

It was one of those tiny moments that probably looked insignificant from the outside, but it sparked a conversation between Amanda and me afterwards. I laughed and said, "We're going to have to be careful when we teach this child to write her name.

Amanda looked confused.

I continued, "The day Lion learns to write 'Lion', she's going to label everything."

The chairs, the toys, the tree, the sandpit...

If we aren't careful, she'll probably write her name on the moon and announce that nobody else is allowed to use it. We both laughed.

But underneath the joke was an important truth. Toddlers aren't being selfish for the sake of it. They're trying to understand one of the biggest concepts they'll ever learn:

What belongs to me?

Before children can share confidently, they first need to understand ownership. That's why we don't begin by telling children that everything belongs to everyone. Instead, we slowly build the idea: "This is your water bottle, that's Elephant's shoes. This toothbrush belongs to Lion. My body, my choice. Your blanket. My cup. Daddy's hat. Tannie Net's keys."

Little by little, children begin building invisible boundaries around people and possessions. Only once those boundaries make sense, can they start understanding something even more complicated: Sometimes we choose to let someone else use something that belongs to us. Sharing isn't about pretending ownership doesn't exist. It is about deciding to be generous with something that does.

One day, Lion really will learn to write her name. And when she does, I suspect Amanda and I will be keeping a very close eye on the permanent markers... Just in case the moon suddenly belongs exclusively to Lion.