The No Gnomes

We don't have elves on the shelves at Tannie Net's Daycare. Or fairies in the garden. We have... The No Gnomes. Tiny, invisible little creatures that sneak into the daycare overnight and whisper only one word into toddlers' ears while they sleep: "No."

We have tried to lure the No Gnomes outside, but it appears that our efforts have been in vain.

Would you like a banana?

"No!"

Would you like to go outside?

"No!"

Would you like to play with the bubbles?

"No!"

Would you like some cookies?

"No!"

(Wait... what?)

The No Gnomes have been particularly busy the past few months: We give the toddlers a little bit of freedom when it comes to choosing activities which gives them some autonomy over their day. Many times, we would giggle quietly because Elephant has the way of saying NO to an activity while she walks towards the activity she apparently doesn't want. And Lion never wants lunch and will proudly announce this... while eating.

Around two years old, children discover something extraordinary. They realise they have their own opinions and their own preferences. Maybe the biggest realisation is that they begin to recognize their ability to influence the world. "No" becomes less about refusing and more about experimenting with independence. It's one of the very first ways children discover: "I am a separate person from you." That's huge. It's frustrating... but huge.

The goal isn't to "win". The goal is to give children safe opportunities to practise having a voice. Sometimes that means offering choices. Sometimes it means waiting five seconds after hearing "NO". Sometimes it means smiling because the child who just shouted, "NO!"...is already putting on their shoes to come outside.

If the No Gnomes have visited your house this week too... Don't worry. They usually move on to another family eventually.